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Thursday at USAA, Doors at 8 PM "We don't often screen 'genre' pictures at Feral Cinema, but FC #4's program is no ordinary night of chopsocky. 天殘地缺 or The Crippled Masters is an overlooked masterpiece of the macabre from 1979 that tells the tale of two rival men betrayed and left for dead by their corrupt master, and who then must learn to join forces in order to have their revenge (under the tutelage of a wizened old hermit well-versed in the deadly arts, naturally). Familiar dramatic ground, to be sure, but the story in a kung fu movie, just like any porno, is secondary to the action. And when you learn that one of the men has no arms, and the other lacks the use of his legs, you begin to understand why this unholy marriage of old-school fight choreography and disability is like nothing else in the annals of action cinema. No computer generated kung-feaux to be found here, only two handicapped Hamlets with 20 digits between them and an unquenchable thirst for vengeance. Played by the amazing martial artists Frankie Shum and Jackie Conn, the dynamic duo proves that only by forgetting their past grudges and working together will they fulfill their destiny, only by teaming up will they stand a chance at overcoming their nemesis, only by becoming one will they become THE CRIPPLED MASTERS. Far from mere stump-sploitation, The Crippled Masters will make you laugh till you cry (or vice-versa) with it's inspirational story of forgiveness, redemption, triumph over adversity, amputee empowerment, and ass-kickings. Featuring awesome theme music that announces when they arrive, warm-up, fight, take a shit, etc. and a final showdown that is so cool, it'll have you drunken shadow punching your roommate in the solar plexus. As an appetizer, we'll be playing clips from Bill Hicks' spoof NINJA BACHELOR PARTY, starring and co-directed by the legendary comedian and filmed in an around Austin. Plus music by Geronimo, paintings in the gallery by Amanda Wallace, drink specials, and we might even screen some vintage footage of Elvis Presley demonstrating his karate skills. Doors and music at 8, show at 8:45. If this evening doesn’t have you practicing your karate takedowns on your dog, you deserve a flying dropkick to the kidney."
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